take me with you, big homie

(for Hanif Abdurraqib)

What’s good, big homie?
Me, I’m just trying to find a way to stay with it.
Just trying to crack the shell 
that separates us.
Just trying to be a fabric sample 
of the softness that will save us.

We can do so much better than holding on, big homie. 
There’s more space than that. Stop scrunching yourself.
Stop shrinking yourself. Stop eggshell-stepping 
in your own damn house. 

Lemme rephrase the question:
which desires do you have shame over?
It’s cool to care, big homie. To let it be
important to you, to let it be risky.
God has fucked around
and made you too powerful.
Keep showing up, keep noticing 
the constant becoming.
Open wide and let it filter through you 
prismatic and warm.

Nobody’s stopping you but 
you, big homie.
Get in there
like swimwear.
Just say it. 
Say it how it feels, how it hums 
like a tuning fork. 
That’s plenty, big homie.
That’s all you can do.

There is no opting out, big homie. 
You cannot omit a single part of it 
without changing all of it. 
Fuckin butterfly effect, big homie. 
All mistakes are the fulfillment of a secret wish.
All mistakes bring you one step closer 
to what you need.
All of this was inevitable.

Friction is the only way to make fire, big homie.

Slow down, big homie.
Come back.
Walk with me.
Life is so incredibly long
how many times 
we can be met
and known
and parted
and forgotten.
That sunshine you asked for is on the way, big homie.

Lemme rephrase the question: 
what do you yearn for?
The yearning, 
big homie,
the yearning is the point.